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[Chrissie]

Lil, whenever I come across people who want to deny that they have any responsibility for checking on 'WHY' someone (male or female), when they are obviously distressed, I can't help but wonder about motive.  [Caution] Call me suspicious, dirty-minded, whatever you like, but those alarm bells keep ringing in my head and I see red flags flying too.

That's probably just because of years of seeing what is really going on behind people choosing to ignore such a situation

Ok. Maybe you misunderstood me Chrissy.   We are advised to not go a person of the opposite sex house or  place where she would be alone with you without another person with you.

Now to talk to the woman in a public place like church would be wise to have someone with you to avoid those gossip mongers that every church has. It is only a precaution.

In this day and age of lawsuits of Sexual misconduct even an accusation of sexual misconduct can ruin a persons reputation. We must take precautions. That is all I was saying.

Chrissie did not misunderstand you Red Falcon. I don't believe that anyone who has contributed to this topic, has suggested for a moment that a male should visit a female unaccompanied, in her home.

I think it was Bonnie who pointed out, that if ANY person ignores any kind of abuse (many more types that sexual abuse, as I'm sure that you are aware of) within the Church, it is like giving licence to permit abuse.

I believe that your expressed concern for 'lawsuits for sexual misconduct', is just a cop-out to ignore a problem that any one of us can do something about, if we CHOOSE to do so.

Bonnie raises some excellent points Red Falcon. Why not dialogue with her, regarding this situation. She has a lot of experience in this area, I understand.

[RedFalcon]

Bonnie when I asked you if this episode was in the book you said.

You are right, I explained it badly. My example is not part of the book, but ties into what has been explained about the book so far and the problems we face as a denomination. My example is on that happened and never should, while people looked the other way. It was not a case of ignorance, or just not seeing what was going on.

Sounds as if this episode is fictional to make a point. Am I correct?

[RedFalcon]

I believe that your expressed concern for 'lawsuits for sexual misconduct', is just a cop-out to ignore a problem that any one of us can do something about, if we CHOOSE to do so.

You are incorrect in your belief Chrissie.  We must be careful and having others with us when we visit parishiners of the opposite sex is just prudent. Why accuse me of not caring. Of course I care. It would only take a few seconds to get someone to go with me to see what is wrong with the woman. No one is suggesting that nonthing would be done because we are afraid of a lawsuit or because it might look bad. Not at all. I just said that talking to the woman with another present just is prudent.

[Chrissie]

I believe that your expressed concern for 'lawsuits for sexual misconduct', is just a cop-out to ignore a problem that any one of us can do something about, if we CHOOSE to do so.

You are incorrect in your belief Chrissie.  We must be careful and having others with us when we visit parishiners of the opposite sex is just prudent. Why accuse me of not caring. Of course I care. It would only take a few seconds to get someone to go with me to see what is wrong with the woman. No one is suggesting that nonthing would be done because we are afraid of a lawsuit or because it might look bad. Not at all. I just said that talking to the woman with another present just is prudent.

Keep carrying on Red Falcon, but you're still avoiding the point. No one is suggesting for a minute, that a male visit a female in her home, without taking another person with him. We are clearly discussing what SHOULD happen at Church in such a situation.

[bonnie]

Bonnie when I asked you if this episode was in the book you said.

You are right, I explained it badly. My example is not part of the book, but ties into what has been explained about the book so far and the problems we face as a denomination. My example is on that happened and never should, while people looked the other way. It was not a case of ignorance, or just not seeing what was going on.

Sounds as if this episode is fictional to make a point. Am I correct?

No sorry.  The example is completely true . I did not say the episode was fictional. It would be helpful to not interject something that was not said.

It is because of this I found out about Polly's Place.  Knowledge that is not made widely available in out churches.

[bonnie]

I believe that your expressed concern for 'lawsuits for sexual misconduct', is just a cop-out to ignore a problem that any one of us can do something about, if we CHOOSE to do so.

You are incorrect in your belief Chrissie.  We must be careful and having others with us when we visit parishiners of the opposite sex is just prudent. Why accuse me of not caring. Of course I care. It would only take a few seconds to get someone to go with me to see what is wrong with the woman. No one is suggesting that nonthing would be done because we are afraid of a lawsuit or because it might look bad. Not at all. I just said that talking to the woman with another present just is prudent.

Red Falcon,

For some reason you seem determined to keep heading this in a direction of your own. You were the one that began the remarks about visiting the woman and what problems it could cause for a man. No where did I suggest a man should visita woman parishoner alone, or even that a man would be best to handle this. I did not introduce the topic of lawsuits, you did, which is totally unnecessary here and simply does not apply. No one made the remotest suggestion as relates to your objections.

You say you care. That is great. Hopefully this means that maybe you take seriously ministering to our own. As in any type of ministry,it takes a cohesive effort by the members sitting in the pew.
It takes education and that of course takes interest. Education in how best to stop the apathy.
Glad to hear you are ready as that is what I CARE means. Otherwise it is like only knowing/ preaching the gospel. Just so many words that end up only showing you can recite