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Author Topic: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever  (Read 8323 times)

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christian

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Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« on: September 06, 2012, 01:19:24 AM »

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who remarried about seven years after being separated from his wife. He asked me some hard question because apparently he is feeling remorse and regret about remarrying and feels he is forever lost. He told me he loves the wife he now has but feels God cannot forgive him because he is with his current wife. I was stumped because he did not divorce for reasons of adultry.  Someone please see if you can give me some advise to tell him. I don't know all the particulars of his divorce except that I know he was the one at fault at the time.
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Gregory

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2012, 02:02:29 AM »

The details of his divoerce are not important.

Whether or not he sinned in his remarriage is not the fundamental issue.

The fundamental issue is:  God had to have a plan of salvation that was powerful enough to cover every sin that a personmight commit.  God's salvation would not be worth much if it could not cover every sin.  God is not that weak.  The death of Christ on the cross is powerful enough to cover all.  The witness of the Bible is sthat it covers all.  If it actually does not we cannot then depend upopn what the Bible says.  IF salvations does not cover some sins, what conficence can we have that it covers any?





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Johann

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2012, 03:17:17 AM »

I believe 1 John 1:9 is a great text in this connection. God forgives your past sins. Steps to Christ is an excellent commentary on this text and our feelings in connection with that.
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Bob Pickle

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2012, 08:58:39 AM »

In Ellen White's time there were those who urged that those who remarried without biblical grounds to do so should leave their second spouse. She opposed that. I would advise reading her counsel on that in TSB.

What I make of that is that while it is a sin to enter into a marriage covenant without biblical grounds, it is not a sin to remain faithful to that marriage covenant after having made it.

1 Jn. 1:9 and many other texts are important.

Had your friend's first wife already been remarried when he remarried?
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Johann

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2012, 12:29:24 PM »

Here I must say that  am in full agreement with Bob Pickle. Moses had also told the Israelites, if I remember right, that if someone had divorced, he was not to remarry the same person.

There is no sin that God will not forgive, and that includes divorce.
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christian

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2012, 01:10:30 PM »

In Ellen White's time there were those who urged that those who remarried without biblical grounds to do so should leave their second spouse. She opposed that. I would advise reading her counsel on that in TSB.

What I make of that is that while it is a sin to enter into a marriage covenant without biblical grounds, it is not a sin to remain faithful to that marriage covenant after having made it.

1 Jn. 1:9 and many other texts are important.

Had your friend's first wife already been remarried when he remarried?

No his ex wife had not been remarried, but they both had dated. I do think he is sincerely remorseful about his failed marriage, , I have not seen anyone express such a tearful regret, I really felt sorry for him. Maybe I can let him read what Ellen White said about the situation, where exactly is that found?
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Bob Pickle

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2012, 08:03:15 PM »

No his ex wife had not been remarried, but they both had dated. I do think he is sincerely remorseful about his failed marriage, , I have not seen anyone express such a tearful regret, I really felt sorry for him. Maybe I can let him read what Ellen White said about the situation, where exactly is that found?

Has he told his first wife how remorseful he is? I think that is very important. He should ask for her forgiveness. 1 Jn. 1:9 and other passages require that we seek to make amends with those we have wronged.

Try TSB 218-227.
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Johann

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2012, 07:05:34 AM »

We still  pray for your friend, Christian, that the forgiveness of Jesus will bring him His healing and peace. Remind him that there is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. . .  Rom 8:1
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Murcielago

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2012, 04:15:18 PM »

John Bradshaw tells about a lady who approached him with a similar problem. She told him that for years she had begged God's forgiveness and still lived with terrible guilt. He told her "So you believe God is a liar." "No! Of course I dont !" "Yes you do, because he says 'If we confess our sins he is able and just go forgive us our sins...' but you don't believe him. You think he's lying." he quoted a few more texts and told her that if she has already confessed and repented, then sghe was forgiven long ago. Her continued guilt was a disbelief in God's promises. Why call God a liar and live in guilt? Accept God's word, accept his forgiveness, and go live your life free.
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christian

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2012, 07:58:51 PM »

John Bradshaw tells about a lady who approached him with a similar problem. She told him that for years she had begged God's forgiveness and still lived with terrible guilt. He told her "So you believe God is a liar." "No! Of course I dont !" "Yes you do, because he says 'If we confess our sins he is able and just go forgive us our sins...' but you don't believe him. You think he's lying." he quoted a few more texts and told her that if she has already confessed and repented, then sghe was forgiven long ago. Her continued guilt was a disbelief in God's promises. Why call God a liar and live in guilt? Accept God's word, accept his forgiveness, and go live your life free.

 Thank you very much for the intelligent thoughtful loving responses, I have passed on the information to him, I know how debilitating guilt can be. I remember an elderly lady who was a friend of ours and the struggle she went through just prior to her death. The story goes like this, the lady I knew was in her late 70's and was diagnosed with bone cancer. As many of you know bone cancer is perhaps one of the most painful type of cancers, only second to brain cancer. In the late stages of her cancer when we would talk to her we could see she was in terrible pain, it was horrible. On one occasion when we came to visit her she asked me if it would be a sin for her to take pain medicine. ----Let me back up a second and tell you she was one of the sweetest ladies, God fearing, I know. Though she was on a set income she paid her tithe and was faithful for the 20+ years I had known her in coming to church and giving her all to God. -----I told her I did not think that taking an aspirin to relieve or lessen the pain would be a problem. She told me that she knew that God was punishing her for the things she had done when she was in her twenties. I was startled at that statement because not only was it so long ago, but I realize that she had not forgiven herself or let God forgive her. I told her that God had forgiven her years ago and was not trying to punish her, I told her that God had cast her sin in the depth of the ocean and had forgotten it long ago. I am not sure how much relief of pain the medicine gave her when she took it, but the relief on her face about Gods forgiveness seemed more comforting than any medicine. I do understand her, sometimes even when we are remorseful, sometimes for that very reason, we never forgive ourselves or let God forgive us.  I am reminded of the man let down through the roof when Jesus was speaking. It seemed to me that he was not so much concerned about his physical health but more about Gods forgiving power and release from the guilt he carried. There are thousands who struggle, I have learned, with the ability to let God forgive them. They are horrified by the things they have done and realize they cannot go back into the past to correct them. I am so thankful we have a God that forgets and forgives, this is the very essence of what the gospel is all about. -------I remember Gods admonishment to the sick "go and sin no more" the cross and his death is the only thing that can go back into the past and right a wrong. The bible says all things work together for good for those that love the Lord. 
« Last Edit: September 10, 2012, 08:04:04 PM by christian »
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Murcielago

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Re: Remarried but thinks he is lost forever
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2012, 11:33:01 PM »

Physical pain is nothing next to emotional pain. No need to put ourselves through something we don't deserve. Jesus is love, he is forgiveness, and he is healing, but only if we accept it.

Your friend is lucky to have you my bro. Just keep holding Jesus up to him and he'll be ok.
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