John Bradshaw tells about a lady who approached him with a similar problem. She told him that for years she had begged God's forgiveness and still lived with terrible guilt. He told her "So you believe God is a liar." "No! Of course I dont !" "Yes you do, because he says 'If we confess our sins he is able and just go forgive us our sins...' but you don't believe him. You think he's lying." he quoted a few more texts and told her that if she has already confessed and repented, then sghe was forgiven long ago. Her continued guilt was a disbelief in God's promises. Why call God a liar and live in guilt? Accept God's word, accept his forgiveness, and go live your life free.
Thank you very much for the intelligent thoughtful loving responses, I have passed on the information to him, I know how debilitating guilt can be. I remember an elderly lady who was a friend of ours and the struggle she went through just prior to her death. The story goes like this, the lady I knew was in her late 70's and was diagnosed with bone cancer. As many of you know bone cancer is perhaps one of the most painful type of cancers, only second to brain cancer. In the late stages of her cancer when we would talk to her we could see she was in terrible pain, it was horrible. On one occasion when we came to visit her she asked me if it would be a sin for her to take pain medicine. ----Let me back up a second and tell you she was one of the sweetest ladies, God fearing, I know. Though she was on a set income she paid her tithe and was faithful for the 20+ years I had known her in coming to church and giving her all to God. -----I told her I did not think that taking an aspirin to relieve or lessen the pain would be a problem. She told me that she knew that God was punishing her for the things she had done when she was in her twenties. I was startled at that statement because not only was it so long ago, but I realize that she had not forgiven herself or let God forgive her. I told her that God had forgiven her years ago and was not trying to punish her, I told her that God had cast her sin in the depth of the ocean and had forgotten it long ago. I am not sure how much relief of pain the medicine gave her when she took it, but the relief on her face about Gods forgiveness seemed more comforting than any medicine. I do understand her, sometimes even when we are remorseful, sometimes for that very reason, we never forgive ourselves or let God forgive us. I am reminded of the man let down through the roof when Jesus was speaking. It seemed to me that he was not so much concerned about his physical health but more about Gods forgiving power and release from the guilt he carried. There are thousands who struggle, I have learned, with the ability to let God forgive them. They are horrified by the things they have done and realize they cannot go back into the past to correct them. I am so thankful we have a God that forgets and forgives, this is the very essence of what the gospel is all about. -------I remember Gods admonishment to the sick "go and sin no more" the cross and his death is the only thing that can go back into the past and right a wrong. The bible says all things work together for good for those that love the Lord.