Hi Alex,
You know I am your friend and if I might say something I hope you will not be offended.
If you read back these posts you will see how I (just a lay person of trying to use common sense and experience ) see the situation.
First of all I want to say that when I saw your picture how attractive you are and very much would attract a woman. Maybe you need to contemplate back to early childhood as far as you can and think of how you felt and when.
Think of how your brother, mother, and father might have related to you if even they did. Were you encouraged to be everything you could be or downgraded, chided, or whatever that took your feelings away? Some of the sympathizers on here said you never told the truth. Well if that did or does not happen then I know for a fact you were in situation at young age that --that scenario "developed" exactly that --if not --something to where you were constantly put down to where as a being of little use. That alone causes a person to lose identity and lose self worth and undermine their sense of "wholeness". Then comes along a predator and preys upon a child that is vulnerable and believe me they can tell and know that is the one they will get away with as they try to give the attention that is lacking. They scour and premeditate victims to know what they can do to devour to degrade even more to where their evil deeds are made to give some feelings to victims when all it did was rob true identity. and that is the way you have to think of it. He robbed you!
But now that you have the mixed feelings you can very well contribute to what happened to you at early age. and yes it "developed" into what it did and the way I understood Bob to mean is that it works like other addictions but maybe there was a different word to use instead of additions "maybe sexual high feelings" that were wrongly developed by a perp, but sort of that way as the perp developed the rest of confusion.
Now that the criminal act was done to you and no one protected you I can see what it has done and of course that is exactly why the dude is now in prison where he belongs. You have to understand Alex that most people know just how bad this damages a child that the law clearly know it is so bad it will be criminal actions against the child's identity.
But now you can go forward and I know one cannot forget but concentrate what you really are, what God made you and take a good look in mirror and know the past is gone and you are a great specimen of man. Not everyone has had a nurturing family, but you can be one.
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That is your choice now. Please know you have that choice yet. When you put things in the past, you do like Jesus and let them drop to the bottom of the sea never more to bring it up. When you dwell on it you live it. I know you have to go through more court but after that start a new and yes don't give a way for the chance of renewal and having a great family all your own. Just never talk about it again that is the first step as it is only yours and Jesus thing and he commands to put it away as he does. If you do not do this then you don't believe that God forgives you and all. I hope the court gives compensation to this new beginning if you so choose.
Bury it and you along with many others in their own horrific patterns will be the over comers as I have to learn to overcome different pattern. I am so sorry Alex and sorry for all children that have to have this sort of thing "developed" and that is why I have let loose on these sympathizers, justifiers and that family that covers their selves in the SDA church and look to see all their seemingly "rewards for it". Now lol do you see one of my bad patterns?
?? Guess it aint so funny for me. But my life has been children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren and anybodies children. Had great experiences in life. and now spout off about it. lol It might mean to leave all behind and look to new surroundings if possible if not --show em. Your were a child, you are not to blame. Only as others have suggested as adult you can now choose as you have "contemplated" all.
