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Author Topic: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position  (Read 41611 times)

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Gailon Arthur Joy

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Worldwide Televangelism Satellite Broadcast Network looks for Chief Financial Officer to replace dedicated CFO headed for the mountains of Canada. New CFO must not be willing to challenge the income and the expense account of the founder, but must be willing to keep in check the pathetic incomes and chump change expense accounts of all the other staff, including new CEO.

Compensation is stipend of peanuts motivated by missionary zeal. No bonus for dealing with outstanding State of Illinois Challenge to Land Tax exemption, Federal IRS Criminal Investigation and outstanding Federal EEOC investigation, all of which may require dealing with Millions in contingent liabilities as a result of the founders purported prior maladministration.

Must be committed to keeping all documents under seal and away from defendants in ongoing litigation with ecclesiastical journalists attempting to uncover, document and publish the truth regarding: 
1) The way the Founder, Officers and The Directors allegedly dealt with the founders ex-wife and a co-founder;
2) Evidence the founder undertook to allegedly and secretly privately inure himself with the help of donor funds;
3) Evidence the Founder allegedly colluded to cover-up and employ unemployable brother and former COG Pastor frequently facing allegation of pedophilia activity in multiple jurisdictions.

All the allegations are purportedly sour grape complaints from disgruntled former employees!!!

Must also be willing to forget dealing with allegations of GAAP violations in accounting systems, financial management and financial transaction systems.

No need for alarm as Founder and Chairman repeatedly assert that auditors, attorneys and board have found operations and books to be clean as a whistle (Whistle size, type and location is irrelevant as long as it is not blown or disclosed). Will never allow GC Auditing department to audit books!!!

Only applicants willing to consider compromising personal convictions need apply!!!

All replies should include curriculum vitae, resume of work history and itemization of any held personal convictions that may prove problematic. Qualified applicants will be forwarded to founder for consideration (do not waste time contacting CEO or General Manager). Direct all inquiries to AUReporter@Aureporter.com

attn: Gailon Arthur Joy
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Snoopy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2008, 08:16:11 PM »

Please help with acronym.  Is this some type of executive compensation?

      GAAP:     Grossly Augmented Annual Payments??

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Chrissie

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2008, 08:19:34 PM »

Please help with acronym.  Is this some type of executive compensation?

      GAAP:     Grossly Augmented Annual Payments??



 :o  :ROFL:  :thumbsup:
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Gailon Arthur Joy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2008, 06:50:51 AM »

Please help with acronym.  Is this some type of executive compensation?

      GAAP:     Grossly Augmented Annual Payments??



Touche'!!!

GAJ
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Snoopy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2008, 08:52:23 PM »

Still confused.  Could it be...

         Gladly Accept Appreciated Property...???    :dunno:
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Snoopy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2008, 08:54:27 PM »

Nope.  I just had a dream.  Here is the definition:

      Greedy Anointed-one Acquires Pension
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Snoopy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2008, 08:56:29 PM »

Gailon...

Any news on who the lucky new CFO might be?


Worldwide Televangelism Satellite Broadcast Network looks for Chief Financial Officer to replace dedicated CFO headed for the mountains of Canada. New CFO must not be willing to challenge the income and the expense account of the founder, but must be willing to keep in check the pathetic incomes and chump change expense accounts of all the other staff, including new CEO.

Compensation is stipend of peanuts motivated by missionary zeal. No bonus for dealing with outstanding State of Illinois Challenge to Land Tax exemption, Federal IRS Criminal Investigation and outstanding Federal EEOC investigation, all of which may require dealing with Millions in contingent liabilities as a result of the founders purported prior maladministration.

Must be committed to keeping all documents under seal and away from defendants in ongoing litigation with ecclesiastical journalists attempting to uncover, document and publish the truth regarding: 
1) The way the Founder, Officers and The Directors allegedly dealt with the founders ex-wife and a co-founder;
2) Evidence the founder undertook to allegedly and secretly privately inure himself with the help of donor funds;
3) Evidence the Founder allegedly colluded to cover-up and employ unemployable brother and former COG Pastor frequently facing allegation of pedophilia activity in multiple jurisdictions.

All the allegations are purportedly sour grape complaints from disgruntled former employees!!!

Must also be willing to forget dealing with allegations of GAAP violations in accounting systems, financial management and financial transaction systems.

No need for alarm as Founder and Chairman repeatedly assert that auditors, attorneys and board have found operations and books to be clean as a whistle (Whistle size, type and location is irrelevant as long as it is not blown or disclosed). Will never allow GC Auditing department to audit books!!!

Only applicants willing to consider compromising personal convictions need apply!!!

All replies should include curriculum vitae, resume of work history and itemization of any held personal convictions that may prove problematic. Qualified applicants will be forwarded to founder for consideration (do not waste time contacting CEO or General Manager). Direct all inquiries to AUReporter@Aureporter.com

attn: Gailon Arthur Joy

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Johann

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2008, 09:14:52 PM »

Seems like Appletree indicated the return to Canada was only a temporary measure due to his wife's visa problems.
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Snoopy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2008, 09:18:44 PM »

I think I remember that too, Johann.  But what I don't understand is if she has a visa problem, why doesn't he?  Didn't they come to the U.S. together?

Seems like Appletree indicated the return to Canada was only a temporary measure due to his wife's visa problems.
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Johann

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2008, 09:31:01 PM »

That is what I've been wondering too, Snoopy.
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Snoopy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2008, 09:32:44 PM »

Hey!  Nice avatar, Johann!  Is that you??
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Johann

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #11 on: March 23, 2008, 09:40:31 PM »

Ask Ida. I got the picture from her. Don't forget: Innocent until proven guilty!!!
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Chrissie

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2008, 03:42:09 AM »

I think I remember that too, Johann.  But what I don't understand is if she has a visa problem, why doesn't he?  Didn't they come to the U.S. together?



I believe that any reasonable person would ask that same question.
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Gailon Arthur Joy

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2008, 08:25:39 AM »

Seems like Appletree indicated the return to Canada was only a temporary measure due to his wife's visa problems.

It is so temporary, he has taken a position with his old firm as a chartered accountant. And he has proposed a person to replace himself. No word on whether that person has been hired.

I have yet to receive the first resume' from the Help Wanted Ad. Go figure!!!

Gailon Arthur Joy
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Artiste

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Re: Help Wanted: Chief Financial Officer - factually challenging position
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 AM »

Nope.  I just had a dream.  Here is the definition:

      Greedy Anointed-one Acquires Pension

Ha-ha-ha Snoopy!  That's a good one!

And from a dream, too...very appropriate!  After all, dreams and visions do reveal important information when it comes to 3ABN matters, as we have learned on national television...
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"Si me olvido de ti, oh Jerusalén, pierda mi diestra su destreza."
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