Bonnie, I cannot begin to imagine what your family had to go through!
I applaud you and your family for having the determination not to let things rest without exposing the perpretators.
There are other areas in which our church is often less kind/just than the world --"not rehiring" employees, for instance. In my own conference I know of former Adventist teachers who built a distinguished career after not being "rehired" in an Adventist institution. In my own case, I discovered the reason the conference education secretary asked impossible things of me (hired 3 weeks before the beginning of the school year) was that the job had already been promised to someone else (related to conference staff) for the following year. So he had to find reasons not to "rehire" me. The chairman of the school board apologized to me later, after the results of the provincial government examinations for Grade 12 came out. (I had been painted as an incompetent teacher, but the exam results were significantly higher than they had been for years previously. I admit that felt good.)
In my situation, I saw the problem that others had seen. Accusations/evaluations are made, and a committee decides *without* being open with the employee or even interviewing the employee. It's so easy to abuse such a closed system. By contrast, in "the world," it is actually illegal to fire someone without demonstrating good cause. I saw that our whole Adventist proceduraly system of hiring and firing needed reformation (I knew of other incidents), but I also saw that I wasn't spiritually strong enough to survive being part of such a campaign.
I pray that the Lord will give you peace regarding this matter, even while you continue to remain sensitive to the needs of others. That is only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit, I'm sure.
Those in administrative positions who follow the Pharasaical course of making things "look good" will eventually reap the rewards of their actions. When it comes down to it, it is a lack of faith that God will look after the consequences if they do the right thing. While it may look different on the surface, it is not qualitatively different from the morality of the thief or embezzler. God sees past the suits and ties into the hearts of church officials in high places. Unless they repent, they will some day hear those awful words, "I know you not."