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Author Topic: Life Thoughts by a Ducky  (Read 12901 times)

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bonnie

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Life Thoughts by a Ducky
« on: June 22, 2008, 05:10:53 PM »


LIFE THOUGHTS BY DUCKY


 
 Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.



How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for MissAmerica ?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.   


I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!


When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.' 
 
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

 
 
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. 
 
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier' 




And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Ya just might want to pass this along....


 

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Beware of those that verbally try to convince you they are Christian. Check your back pocket and make sure your wallet is still there. Next check your reputation to see if it is still intact. Chances are, one or both will be missing

Ozzie

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Re: Life Thoughts by a Ducky
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2008, 08:22:18 PM »

So true Bonnie!  :ROFL: :dogwag: :beagle: :hamster: :ROFL:
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Ozzie
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"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?"
~ Frank Sculley.
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